These ideas are options of how to meet needs. There are as many ways as there are people and instances! What would you add? If you wrote your own list, what would be on it?
Love, Connection, & Trust
- Visualize God, your Higher Power, your spiritual guide, angel, or your Inner Parent loving you. And you loving It. This foundational relationship allows everything to work functionally, whether work, relationships, or health; whether physical, emotional, or mental issues.- Keep a Gratitude Journal. For every big or little thing. This lets positive emotions replace negative ones. Negative ones block God's help and love.
- Spend quality time with loved ones.
- Prioritize family or friend time.
- Express love and appreciation.
- Share your feelings and thoughts openly with trusted friends or family.
- Actively listen and empathize with others’ emotions.
- Engage in deep, meaningful conversations.
- Foster romantic relationships with trust and intimacy if emotional needs are first met inside oneself: Inner Child.
- Build close friendships and social networks.
_ The book, Nonviolent Communication, by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg has 4 simple steps to communication that does not blame, judge, or demand.
- NOTE: Relationships with others work best when we have first met the needs of our Inner Child.
Nurture & Affection
- Hug, hold hands, or other appropriate forms of physical touch with loved ones.
- Receive massage therapy. Soak in a hot tub. Float in a pool. Get a manicure or your hair done.
- Participate in activities like yoga.
- Cook and enjoy a nourishing meal with love. Or let someone cook for you.
- Visualize your inner child and tell them you love them.
- Hug yourself. Curl up in a blanket. Hang out in a hammock.
- Deep breathing helps to calm and ground intense emotions.
- Block out time to do nothing. Meditate on nothingness. Rest. Nap. Listen to soft music.
- Look in the mirror and say “I love you. I’m here. You are valuable and loveable.”
- Music that uplifts you.
- Art that inspires you.
Belonging, Acceptance & Interdependence
- Cultivate close friendships and relationships where you feel valued.
- Join clubs, teams, or social communities.
- Engage in shared activities and hobbies.
- Participate in family gatherings or social events.
- Join support groups for emotional sharing and connection.
- Find work or social environments that support your identity.
Esteem, Validation, Respect, Recognition, Acknowledgment
- Seek out affirming feedback from trusted individuals.
- Advocate for yourself in relationships.
- Work towards personal and professional achievements.
- Share your goals and aspirations with those who support you.
- Share your achievements with supportive people wo recognize your value.
- Celebrate your successes.
_ Ask 10 people what they see as your strengths.
- Develop self-confidence through personal growth.
- Acknowledge and express gratitude for others’ support.
- Set boundaries to ensure your emotional needs are respected.
Expression, Trust, Safety, & Security
- Practice open, honest communication to build stable, trusting relationships.
- Foster trust through consistent, reliable actions.
- Prioritize healthy, transparent communication in relationships.
- Develop emotional intelligence for better relationships. (Real Conversations Chart)
- Use journaling to process and express feelings.
- Practice expressing anger, sadness, fear, and joy. (See Real Conversations Chart for specifics.)
_ For expressing anger, see p.226 in the book Homecoming, by John Bradshaw.
- Participate in therapy or counseling to heal anxiety or other issues.
- Cultivate a safe, supportive environment for vulnerability.
- Create a predictable routine.
_ Define your non-negotiables for all relationships.
- Practice saying NO in the mirror, with a friend, then for real.
- Set boundaries when necessary. Anne Katherine, M.A. wrote Boundaries and Where to Draw the Line.
- Do a trust walk with a friend. They lead you around blindfolded.
Empathy, Understanding, and Support
- Real Conversations: to identify your feelings and needs, & how to meet those needs.
- Ask for help.
- Share your feelings with someone who listens actively.
- Surround yourself with emotionally intelligent people.
- Practice active listening in your relationships.
- Join groups where shared experiences are discussed and understood.
- Develop a support network of friends, family, or colleagues.
- Join online or local support groups based on your experiences.
- Seek professional support from therapists or counselors.
- To help heal grief of a loved one's death, draw a picture of the person, or look at their photo and listen to what they may be telling you? And look for dreams with them...
- The book Homecoming by John Bradshaw, the Corrective Exercises chapter is how to meet the needs for the 5 childhood stages.
Autonomy, Authenticity
- Practice the ability to make choices and have control over your life.
- Set personal goals and take steps to achieve them.
- Advocate for your preferences in relationships and work situations.
- Establish healthy boundaries to protect your autonomy.
Fairness and Justice
- Advocate for yourself in unfair situations when it is safe to do so.
- Set boundaries in relationships or workplaces.
- Seek environments that value equality.
- Stand up for what you believe is right if it is safe to do so.
- For instant confidence, stand with hands on hips, like Wonder Woman!
Competence and Mastery - Feeling capable and effective in what you do.
- Engage in activities where you can build skills.
- Set achievable goals, and celebrate progress.
- Seek out feedback.
- Don’t hesitate to ask for help to improve and grow.
Purpose and Meaning
- Align your actions with your values.
- Engage in fulfilling work or hobbies.
- Contribute to causes greater than yourself.
- Find meaning in helping others or contributing to a community.
Growth and Self-Actualization - Continual growth and reaching your potential.
- Pursue activities that challenge and stimulate you mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. -- Engage in self-reflection, learning, and creative endeavors.
- Constantly evolve by seeking out new experiences.
- Seek functional role models.
- Rewrite the past: Inwardly revisit scenes to acknowledge feelings and meet needs.
Fun and Play
- Enjoy activities that bring joy and happiness into your daily life, such as hobbies, games, or socializing.
- Make time for relaxation and laughter.
- Sing and be silly with a bunch of people! Talk gibberish! Try gestures without words. Dance!
- Play with a child. Go to an amusement park, playground or beach. Build with sand!
- Taste new things. Guess mystery sounds. Go somewhere new. Wear bright colors. Fingerpaint. Play with clay.
- Smell as many smells as you can in a garden. Make noise with things around the house. See the colors in an art museum.
Connection to Nature – Feeling grounded and connected to the environment
-Spend time outdoors, whether through walking, hiking, or simply sitting in nature.
-Engage in activities that foster a deeper connection to the natural world, like gardening or bird-watching.
- Do grounding activities like walking barefoot or lying on grass or sand, or swimming in a pool or ocean.
- Chi Gung, Tai Chi, Yoga and similar activities can ground and move stuck emotional energy. (E-motion is energy in motion!)
- See more Grounding activities here.
Creativity and Expression
- Engage in artistic or creative endeavors, like painting, writing, or music.
- Allow yourself to explore new ways of thinking or problem-solving.
- Create with a child to feel free!
- Dance with abandonment!
Spiritual Connection to something greater than oneself
- Engage in practices like meditation, prayer, or spiritual rituals.
- Read spiritual books, films, audios.
- Be in nature.
- Participate in a spiritual or religious community where you can explore your beliefs and values.
- HU app to feel God's love.
What would you add to this list? What would your own list look like?