How to Heal Grief



This is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read.

If you are grieving, or know someone who is, this can be a great help.








Get the Body Mind Advantage



Do you feel too rigid in your life? ~ Learn yoga. ~ For flexibility.

Are you always late? Or slow? ~ Take a dance class. ~ To master timing.

Are you overwhelmed and scattered? ~ Practice Tai Chi. ~ For focus and economy.

Want to grow your business? ~ Garden. ~ Learn to nourish and be patient.

Is your life too complicated? ~ Clean out your closets. ~ Keep only the necessary.

Tired of negative thinking? ~ Pull weeds. ~ Uproot the unwanted.

Why does this work? Body Mind!  Body Mind psychology says that what we achieve in our bodies, we achieve in our minds and emotions. It teaches that our bodies have psychological correlations, and that the easiest way to change our psychology is to change our bodies!

Our subconscious is where all the programs are that run our lives. Our bodies are closely connected to our subconscious. That’s why it’s easiest to make change through our bodies.

Here is an inexpensive Tai Chi class you can take right at home: The most powerful Body Mind exercise is the Horse Stance, common to both Tai Chi and Chi Kung. It is called the Secret of the Ancient Tai Chi Masters. You can find it on this page: 

This is an audio I made for my mother. For balance, stability, focus, grounding, strength, efficiency, and grace in the body. In 10 minutes a day. What you gain in your body, you also gain in your life!


Reach Your Next Rank

Welcome to your webinar recording, “Reach Your Next Rank!” ~ Watch this webinar ASAP to take advantage of a limited time special free offer! SERIOUS network marketers apply here:

This webinar will help you reach your next rank fastest and easiest, get your team onstage with you, and achieve significance, respect, and financial security!

If you are frustrated and stuck at your current rank, discouraged about setbacks and slow growth, or even worried about slipping back, or if you have an inactive downline, or battle complacency or procrastination, this webinar is for you.

You will learn the 5 methods MLM Millionaires use to get from mediocre to significant, how Jacob and Elsebeth each jumped 2 ranks, and a specific 3-step plan to finally get the dynamic results you want in your business. And get your team onstage with you. And finally break free of limiting beliefs and fears!

So you can shine the confidence that attracts star distributors to you, and inspire others as the leader you are meant to be. See you inside!

“I watched this several times, got inspired, and took notes! Thank you!”

“My wife and I watched this webinar together. We felt like you were speaking to US!”

“My whole team watched this in my office. When you talked about feeling stuck, we all jumped up and said ‘YES!'”

Apply here for the free session if you are serious about reaching your next rank!

Fear is Very Expensive

Fear is Expensive. Have you ever thought about that?

Fear keeps us stuck where we’ve been. It keeps us from moving forward to our destiny.

Fear can show itself in may ways:

    • * discouragement about setbacks or slow growth
  • * stuck; paralyzed to move ahead
  • * working against ourselves, such as eating bad foods or staying up late
  • * procrastination; no creative flow; laziness
  • * chasing the latest bright, shiny object idea in hopes it will be a magic bullet
  • * frantically doing more, in hopes THAT will be the magic bullet
  • * not believing we deserve success, or that we are capable of it
  • * scared to make mistakes

Fear can keep us from:

  • asking for help
  • hearing our own inner guidance
  • investing in a coach
  • believing in our better future
  • being happy, kind, patient, effective, focused, and efficient

What has that cost you so far?

How much money would you have made by now in your business if you had been totally unafraid and joyful? $5,000? $500,000? $5,000,000? ~ How much will fear cost you in 5 years? 25 years?

Besides money, the cost for many has also been peace of mind, joy, sleep, health, relationships, and what they could have given their family, including their presence.

If this post has helped you to recognize fear working in your life, I’m glad! That’s the first step. I also want you to know there is a solution for EVERY problem! This is very important.

The solution will be individual. It may be to believe that good things can happen to us, to take responsibility to change, to acquire necessary skills, to trust in something greater than ourselves, to take the first step, to ask for help, to be kind to ourselves, to believe in our abilities, or to relax, be patient, and hear that inner voice.

Here is a Body Mind tip: whenever you feel anxious, take 10 deep breaths, into your belly and your chest. Science has proven that you cannot breathe deeply and be stressed at the same time. Body Mind says that focus on your belly, by breathing into it, or holding your hand on it, grounds, centers, and relaxes you. (Perhaps that’s why many people eat in an attempt to relax!) Then you will be more clear on what to do about your situation.

Another tip is to be in nature. Nature demonstrates every divine law, including love, which is the antidote to fear. Love opens our hearts, and where there is love, there is no fear.

You can coach yourself to transform fear into love, with my Real Conversations® method. Get FREE lessons here (value $67).

If you’d like my personal help via coaching, give me a call at (512) 569-1139. I’ve been helping people clear fears for 30 years.

Now go forth and PROSPER! 🙂

Inner Guidance: Your Divine Gift

Today I want to talk about something that is the most important thing in my life.
It is Inner Guidance. Available to all.

It’s that nudge. or inner voice that you swear led you to something important.

Every time I experience a “miracle”, I try to recall the feeling or direction I got beforehand. I believe that is Life loving me

When my mom was in a hospice house for 5 weeks, I stayed with her. I had a strong feeling that I wanted to be there for her last breath, although logically I knew it could happen when I was not right by her side.

One day, the doctor said, “It appears she has just a few days left now.” I let my siblings know, and prepared myself.

A few hours later, I received a message that my cousin Patty would arrive soon from out of state. Wow! I hadn’t seen her for 40 years! She had stayed in touch with my mom though. They had grown very special to each other.

She came in, talked with my mother, then we went to the next room, in sight of my mom, and caught up.

I found out she was a hospice nurse! As we talked, unknown to me, she kept an eye on my mom’s breathing. Suddenly, Patty said, “Bess!”

We went to my mom, and saw that her breathing had stopped. Had we missed it?? Did she go while we were chatting? Oh no…

But then she took another breath, and several more… I got to say the words of love I had prepared to see her off. Patty did too. It was beautiful…

I was given the gift I had asked for.

Patty told me later that she had been doing tasks at her home, when she got the nudge drive to see us. She said to herself, “OK, as soon as I finish what I’m doing.” But the nudge said, “Go NOW!” So, bless her heart, she did.

Thirty minutes later would have been too late to say her good byes. And would I have been alert to catch her last breathes? I doubt it, as I believed we had a few more days yet.

I was sent the help and companionship of a loving cousin, and an experienced hospice nurse at that, to make this a beautiful transition. Patty listened to her inner guidance. I’m grateful beyond words.

I believe we all have this help.
How good are we at listening to it? I understand it takes practice. And that the people who practice listening get good at it.

There are people who set aside quiet time each day to be still and open to inner messages, impressions, or ideas that come. I do what are called spiritual exercises. Sometimes these brilliant ideas come that I know are not from my mind. Or I just feel strongly to contact someone, right when they need something. Or I get instructions for my day.

Here is a book I found 3 weeks ago. I could hardly put it down, and I’m reading it again now.

If Inner Guidance interests you, you might like it too.

I’d love to hear your experiences!


New Year Goal-Setting

Happy New Year Everyone!

This is such a fun and powerful way to plan your goals that I’m reprinting this from my MLM Millionaire Club blog:

I sure am in the mood to plan for the New Year! Wow, is it fun. It’s like going to a movie that I get to make up!

Here’s the fun part:
Usually you look at where you are now, and where you want to go, and the steps to get there, right? With this technique, you ARE in January 2014. A success magazine got wind of your amazing story, and sent a reporter to interview you.

You are sitting together by your pool, sipping refreshing healthy drinks, as you recap where you are now. Highlight for the reporter your accomplishments last year, and what your life is like now, including how you feel, and the effect it’s had on your loved ones’ lives. It’s a GREAT story!! You’re very happy and grateful…

And now describe what you did last year to make it happen.

The reporter helps by asking questions such as, “What were the biggest challenges you faced? And how did you overcome them?”

“What was the first thing you did to get here?”

“Then what did you do?”

“What was the next big step?”

“What were the top 3 keys to your success?”

“If there was one other piece of advice you wish you could have given yourself back then, what would it be?”

As the reporter says the story is awesome, and before leaving, hands you a copy of the notes.

Now you write your action steps into your 2013 calendar.

And you commit to view your Mind Movie of January 2014 one minute every morning and evening.
(A Mind Movie is your visualization of your dream achieved. In detail, with all your senses, AS IF it is NOW.)

Thank you to my mentor, Christian Mickelsen, for the interview questions! You rock!

On New Year’s day, I did this process with two groups.

What we did:
* Demonstrated the interview goal-setting process
* Feedback on their 2013 strategies
* Learned how to set up a 90 day acceleration
* We discussed ideas for how to stay on track

I thought I’d share the recordings with you here
. They are with Network Marketers, but you can adapt the tips to any goals you have!

Here is a YouTube video chat on Google Plus Hangout

And an mp3 recording of a teleclass (copy & paste it to listen ):

Very Happy New Year!

What’s growing in YOUR yard?

Personal Growth Tips from Bess McCarty:

Negative thoughts are like weeds.

1. Check your thoughts everyday. Weed out negative ones that crowd out the positive ones.

2. Get the roots. Do the work! Shortcuts don’t work. Simple affirmations may not get the roots out.

3. Use the right tool: Real Conversations method developed by Bess gets the roots: All problems are really an unmet need. Get to that root so you can meet that need in a healthy way! A Gift for you: Free RC Lessons at

Demo of Real Conversations Coaching for Business

This blog is a YouTube demo of how Bess’s Real Conversations self-coach process can clear business blocks.

You’ll see time marks you can choose to watch in the YouTube description below the video. You may especially like minutes 4 – 39, which clear two peoples’ challenges of trust issues and time management, and teach you to use Real Conversations too.

This video is a recording of a Google Plus Hangout, a live group video chat. It has many creative uses, as you can imagine!

I’d love your feedback! ~ Bess

How Did We Lose It?

We have feelings and needs.
I think they were built into us by our Creator to help us navigate life, and learn about life.

My experience has been that when I listen to and heed their messages, my life is optimized. Things work smoother and I’m happier. Feelings can be body feelings, or emotions. They lead me to what I need.

* For example, my body hunger tells me I need food. I eat, I stay alive.
* The pain in my finger tells me to remove my hand from the fire. I do it, and I still have a working finger.
* If I sleep when I’m tired, I don’t get sick.

Our relationship with ourselves is defined by how we meet our needs.

Feelings can be emotional, too:

* If I have an intuitive scared feeling to walk down a dark street, but ignore it, I could be attacked.
* If I feel angry because I’m over-working myself, but brush it off, I could lash out at others as a result.
* If I feel sad because I’m not following a career I love, I could slip into depression.

Yet, we often disregard feelings! Some of us are scared of uncomfortable emotions. We don’t know what to do for them, so we may ignore them, numb them with drugs, food, or work. The only problem is, that allows the damage to keep happening. Like a light on the car dashboard that says it needs oil, if we disconnect the light, the car STILL needs oil. The engine can blow up without it.

I believe we are born with a NATURAL ABILITY to hear our feelings and needs. So HOW did we lose it?

* We may have had a parent or role model to do so.

* We don’t want to be seen as selfish. We put others’ needs first and ignore our own. We think that is love.

* We interpret spirituality to be self-less, that it’s good to sacrifice and suffer, as Jesus did.

* We feel guilty if we out-do others. If our neighbor is suffering, or has a dysfunctional life, if people are hungry in China, we shouldn’t do better.

* We don’t feel worthy, or that we deserve to have a better life.

* We were taught as children to deny our feelings and needs, “No, you’re not hungry.” “Stop being so angry!” or “You shouldn’t be sad. Cheer up!” “Eat the food, don’t hurt the host’s feelings!”

* There were so may fires to put out as children, that we learned to take care of others and had no energy left for our own needs. (such as needy, alcoholic, abusive, or absent parents)

* We were taught that people don’t like you if you have needs. To get love, be needless. “No thank you, I’m fine.” Your needs are a burden to others. So deny them, if you want love.

* We can’t say no. We were taught that if someone wants or needs something, we should give it to them. Their needs are more important than ours.

Do you resonate with any of these? Do you have any to add?

How do you overthrow the bad programming? Just by becoming aware, and becoming honest with yourself, you have already begun. You can also commit to yourself to listen more to your feelings, and to choose feeling good about doing the right think for you instead of letting yourself get talked into something for another’s reasons.

You can validate your worth. you deserve to be happy. You may have to become strong enough to weather another person’s dislike. Say “no” to what is not good for you, and realize that your genuine, healthy needs are gifts to people who care about you and like helping you.

This is a life-long art. You might like to use the Real Conversations process to feel your feelings and meet your needs. Your needs can be met by your Higher Power, yourself, or someone else.

You can get the Real Conversations audio and e-lessons in the box in the upper right of this page.

Do someone a favor and pass this on! And send me any success stories you feel comfortable sharing. With your permission, they could go into my book on RC, even anonymously.

Life Balance Assessment

We know a healthy, effective life is a balance of family, fun, health, community, and spirituality. Just as a chain is only as strong as its weakest link, your well-being can be undermined by weakness in one of these areas. Can you see how a nagging health issue, a troubled relationship, or stress can affect you?

Is your life in balance in all the 8 areas? Or could it have a weak link that you may not be aware of?

Here’s a scale to tell. Print this page.  Rate on a scale of 1-10, 10 being completely happy with this item.

On the low numbers, you can write specifically what you’d like to have.


__ General health

__ Appearance

__ Sleep well

__ Eat healthy food

__ Drink plenty of good water

__ Receive touch or hugs

__ Ideal weight

__ Fitness level

__ Regular exercise

__ Flexibility

__ Strength training

__ Enough energy each day

__ Adequate personal hygiene

__ Home environment clean, functional, beautiful

__ Safe neighborhood

__ Other


__ Happy and content

__ Self-worth

__ Feel loved and supported

__ Practice forgiveness – no outstanding grievances

__ Enough time to do what you need to

__ Learning in areas I’m interested in

__ Emotionally secure

__ Not easily angered

__ Fear does not control my life

__ No unhealthy addictions – smoking, alcohol, etc.

__ Other


__ Spiritually secure

__ Live in peace

__ Life has meaning

__ Connection w/a Higher Power

__ Pray or meditate regularly

__ Participate in a spiritual community

__ Express love to others

__ Other


__ Financially secure

__ Income stable

__ Follow a budget within my means

__ Basic needs met

__ Enough money to do what I want

__ Necessary insurance

__ Savings

__ Net worth

__ Credit good

__ Debt level

__ Plan for retirement, estate plan, and will

__ Clear investment strategy

__ Access to financial advice

__ Other


__ Doing what I love

__ Expert in my field

__ Performing at a level of excellence

__ Productive

__ Competent

__ Challenged by my work

__ Growing professionally

__ Skills level

__ Communication

__ Teamwork

__ Advancing in my industry

__ Other


__ Spouse

__ Children

__ Parents

__ Siblings

__ Healthy romance

__ Friends

__ Co-workers

__ Authority

__ Subordinates

__ Mentors to learn from

__ Spend time with people I love

__ Sense of belonging

__ I am accountable

__ Good boundaries

__ Other


__ Live in a nourishing environment

__ Take time for myself

__ Have fun in my life

__ Do activities that recharge me

__ Take great vacations

__ Travel to places I want to go

__ Experience nature

__ Other


__ I know my life’s purpose and passion

__ Contribute time or help to others

__ Donate money to causes I care about

__ Actively support a cause I care about

__ Feel fulfilled

__ Make a difference

__ Feel like my life matters

__ Other

Now take a look at the category of yours with the lowest numbers. Were you surprised?

Now circle 1 or 2 things of that category that are most important to you. Would you be willing in the next week or month to take an action step to improve these? If you like, write that action step at the top of the page, and the date you would like to have it done.

You can write: “By _____ date, I will do _____.”

You can also copy this page into an email, and send it to me for our coaching.

For coaching, call Bess at (512) 569-1139.

A Priceless Gift for You
True Story

"Bess helped me with some internal blocks.

With her assistance, I took my monthly sales performance from 15% of expectation to 458%. I’m currently over 150% YTD in my sales goals, and have reached 4 of my5 most significant written goals for this year.

She is worth her weight in gold."

– Rob Nussbaum, Sales Executive, Austin, TX

True Story

"Bess has been a tremendous help in clearly defining my goals, staying focused and tracking progress.

This month I achieved the Executive Trainer position in my company!"

– Rich McCoy, San Diego, California,

True Story

"In the MLM Millionaire Club, Bess helped me break through my toughest roadblock by showing me how to put two things together.

I now have a plan to follow and feel really great about the rest of this week and what will happen next week.

Real Conversations really cuts out all the BS. It allows me to get to the root of my problem."

– Debbie Brown,
Independent Arbonne Consultant, www.DeborahBrown.myArbonne